I try to reflect on the year when it gets closer to a new year so here goes!
January: I started the year off terribly. I was disappointed and that ruined my outlook on a certain relationship. Taylor Swift’s “The Moment I Knew” is actually the perfect song to describe that situation. In January I also realized how far away I was drifting from my best guy friend. It was sad and I expected that things would get better but unfortunately it didn’t. I think we’re farther apart now then ever.
February: Once again I had my heart broken by the same guy who broke it the first time. But that was the last time. All my new friends were around and saw me cry for the first time. I didn’t understand it so I wrote about it. I think some of my best writing came out of that situation.
March: A March was a month for mistakes right?! Well it was for me at least. His name started with an M and I thought it was what I wanted. It wasn’t. I was the fool. Luckily, I was warned by a certain someone in my hall. He put a lot on the line for warning me and to this day I am very appreciative of him.
April: Mr. Heartbreaker came back around to worry me and boy did it work. Call me crazy but when someone tells me they are doing cocaine and that they are gong to kill themselves, I do my best to help them. I couldn’t though. There was nothing I could do. So I called the only man I could count on. My daddy. I was hysterical and confused, I didn’t know who else to call. Eventually I just gave up. And he’s still around so it makes me wonder how much was manipulation and how much was real.
May: I finished my first semester of college. I was so relieved! I went back home and relaxed. As far as I can remember that’s all that happened!
June: June was the month of dates. Some good and some bad. June was also the month that I found out some intriguing information about that same certain someone who lived down the hall from me and warned me about that other guy. So thankfully, he asked me on a date. I was incredibly nervous but so excited when he asked for a second date!
July: And on the 8th of July, we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. There was some drama surrounding the situation but I was already incredibly happy! My grandma also celebrated her 70th birthday. There was a huge celebration with all my dad’s side of the family and I even invited my new boy over, a huge step for me and probably an even bigger one for him.
August: In August I moved out of my parents house and into my first apartment. It was bittersweet but I was excited nonetheless. I started school again and everything was going well.
September: I got my wonderful kitty, Ninja! And started a new job! But then of course I started to doubt my entire future and purpose in college. Why am I doing this? What if I don’t succeed? What am I going to do if I don’t get in to law school? Do I still really want to go to law school? Why is this class even relevant to my major?! All sorts of questions that I just couldn’t answer for myself.
October: It was my daddy’s birthday and the ten year anniversary of my Grandfather’s death. To this day I still wish that he could have gotten to see me grow up into the woman that I am today and to see me interested in politics and current events. My sister was always the favorite but he just didn’t get me a chance to get to know me.
November: My wonderful nephew was born! The third one and just as beautiful as the first two! I also turned twenty years old and wrote one of my favorite pieces of writing. I got my second tattoo and was nominated for the English Department Honor Roll. November was a good year.
December: Here we are in December. My childhood dog had to be put down and there was a tragedy in Connecticut that made me hug my nephews just a little bit tighter that night and always. I will spend Christmas Eve with my wonderful boyfriend and his familly until it’s time for my daddy to read “The Night Before Christmas” and Christmas morning and night will be with my family. And if all goes to plan, I will finally get a New Year’s Eve kiss!