Being vulnerable is not my strongest suit. It’s like math, I don’t want to do it despite the fact that I really need to learn how to do it, and I’m going to need a lot of help to get it.
I’m still very much in love with you. But I’ve never been so scared.
Scared of losing you, scared of loving you too much, scared of accidentally hurting you, just scared.
I know it doesn’t help that I’m at a point in my life where the future is terrifying to pretty much everyone, but thinking about all the possibilities that may or may not include you, makes it worse.
I’m a realist. I am very aware that we could still break up at any time. The thing that I’m most scared of is you waking up and wondering what you’re still doing with me. Or you staying with me just because you don’t want to hurt me. Because that would hurt even more.
I’m scared of the fact that I can be so vulnerable with you.
I’m scared that the day you leave I will be even more cold and heartless than ever.
And I’m scared that I’m keeping you from someone better.