Let me preface this with saying, I am privileged to be able to attend college. I get it. And I have a good life. I understand. This post will not be deep or insightful. It will simply be a release for myself.
I am tired of college.
I’m tired of this town.
I’m tired of being sleep deprived with no end in sight.
I’m tired of working my ass off for little or no credit.
I’m tired of professors thinking that their class is the most important and forgetting that we have multiple classes, lives, relationships and sleep that we also have to attend to.
I’m tired of professors forgetting to think about us as human beings. As more than just numbers.
I’m tired of pretending to care about a class that will probably never be useful to me outside of this institution.
I’m tired of worrying about whether or not I will get into law school, get the right internships or be able to pay off my student loans in January.
I’m tired of not being able to read for fun.
I’m tired of seeing my friends so stressed they forget what it’s like to have fun.
I’m tired of drinking coffee just to stay awake for a 75 minute class.
I’m tired of having only a set amount of days we can miss, and therefore going to class to be physically present but mentally absent.
I’m tired of having to worry about money and whether or not my computer will die and I’ll have enough to buy a birthday present or a tank of gas to go home for a weekend.
I’m tired of not seeing my family.
I’m tired of missing out on things that I’ll never get to make up.
I’m tired of emailing professors to ask for help and never getting a response.
I’m tired of only eating crap because that’s all I can afford and I just don’t have the energy to try and make something healthy.
I’m tired of being so stressed all the time that I’ve forgotten what it feels like not to be.
I’m tired of lying awake at night thinking about all the things I could have done better throughout the day, the things I have to do for tomorrow and all the things due or assigned to me for the week.
I’m tired of trying my best and only ending up as “average.”
I’m tired of people asking me what I want to do when I leave college.
I’m tired of people asking me if I want to teach as soon as they hear my major.
I’m tired of going to class in windowless buildings and being expected to feel inspired.
I’m tired of being defined by numbers. GPA, test scores, graduation date, etc.
I’m tired of being unsure.
I’m tired of planning.
I’m tired of college.