Sometimes when one aspect of your life is murky and unclear, another one becomes crystal clear.
Lately I have been much too calm about my life. A calm before a storm. I am worried that I have been so focused on trying to get into law school for the past four years that I am burning myself out before I even get there. I feel like the process stresses me out so much that I am slowly losing my passion for something that I have devoted my life to for so long.
So what part of my life is becoming clearer?
Well, almost everything else. My relationship has never been better. I know who my true friends are and my family is supportive and loving. Maybe this calm before the storm is what it takes for me to focus on something, anything else than law school. It has been this omnipresent being in my life for so long that it has almost consumed me. And while I still panic at the thought of not getting in, it’s for a different reason. It is mainly because I will have wasted so much time and energy on a “pipe dream” and I will be back at square one in the sense that I won’t know what exactly to do with my life. And while that may be frightening, I do not necessarily think of it as a crisis anymore. Because everything else is going so well.
And while part of me may be thinking that this is all too good to be true considering it is going so well, the other part of me is saying, “Enjoy it. And enjoy the rest of your life.” And that’s what I plan to do.