On Monday I take the LSAT. This upcoming Monday. I’m sure I’ll have more to write about it right before and possibly right after, but for now I just need to write to clear my mind so that I can possibly get some sleep tonight.
There is way too much riding on one test. I continue to get emails from law schools wishing me luck on the LSAT and waiving the application fees, etc. I understand that they do that to be encouraging (and of course to advertise in hopes of getting my money) but it is honestly just putting more pressure on me and I just can’t stand it. I just want this test to be over.
I keep preparing for the question, “How did your LSAT go?” which I will inevitably hear hundreds of times of the next four to five months. I’ll respond with, “I didn’t do as well as I planned so I’m thinking I might take some time off to really evaluate if law school is for me.” I’ve thought more about how to word that response rather than a positive response. And of course, if someone follows up that question with, “What did you score?” I’ll have to say something like, “I don’t want to talk about it” or “I can’t remember” or “Numbers aren’t that important right?!” A few months ago I was thinking about what I was going to write for my personal essay for applications, and now this is what I’ve come to.
I can’t decide if I’m glad that I have to wait for my score or if that just makes it worse. I mean with today’s technology it is a little bit ridiculous that we have to wait 3-4 weeks for the results of a scan-tron test. I suppose I should take that time to reflect and panic or to reflect and build my confidence. I will probably do a little bit of both and a whole lot of relaxing. Maybe I can stop having nightmares about not having all my paperwork the day of the test or having the scores mixed up by that point. Maybe waiting for a number that decides way too much about my life will just make that worse.
I guess I thought that by putting these words onto a screen, they would somehow stop pooling up in my brain. Unfortunately, I don’t think that is going to happen until Monday at 4:30 at the earliest.
Does someone have a heavy object they can knock me out with until then? That would be great, thanks!