7 Thoughts I’ve had this Week

I realize that I have neglected my blog and my faithful readers for quite some time now. And I am very, very sorry!

I have been thinking about the next chapter of my life and how I am going to continue writing my story. I will let you all in on my secret plan very soon! But for now, I will give you some of the thoughts I have had over the past week.

1. I realized that I yearn for a successful marriage much more than I yearn for a successful career. Now before everyone gets all feministy on me, let me tell you why I think this is the case. It came as a shock to me when I realized this, as I have always had big career goals for myself. What I realized is that in today’s society, it is so much harder to have a successful marriage than it is to have a successful career. And at the end of the day, your career won’t keep you warm at night. It won’t listen to you vent when life gets to be too much, and it won’t be at your funeral when you die. A successful marriage, in my opinion, means a happy, and successful family which is ultimately what I want. If I die never having a successful marriage and/or a happy family life, I will feel as though much of my life was a waste. If I die never having a successful career, I don’t think I will be as disappointed in myself.

2. If there are multiple people in a “selfie” shouldn’t it be called a “selvsie?”

3. I can’t believe that I’m graduating college in less than two months.

4. What am I going to do with my life? How am I going to pay off my student loans? How can I make money for this damn blog of mine? Will I ever be able to buy my own house?

5. Babies are so much smarter than us.

6. I really wish I knew what my cat is thinking.

7. Why is it so cold out? I packed most of my winter clothes already? I guess I’ll just have to stay home and watch Netflix all day.

30 Things My Big Sister Taught Me before She Turned 30

Today my oldest sister is 30 years old. And while her favorite songs are now played on the “Oldies” radio station and she can’t stay up to watch the ball drop on New Year’s Eve, she’s still pretty awesome. So instead of feeling down about turning 30, here are some things that you have passed on to me over the years. I love you sister!

  1. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor, you’ve never been sicker.
  2. Pregnancy can happen just by jinxing! … Just kidding, unprotected sex leads to pregnancy the majority of the time.
  3. Good sex is not a basis for a marriage.
  4. Sticking a key in an outlet will in fact, take you to another place.
  5. If Dad says, “See if you can get this can off the table.” You should kick the table over as hard as you possibly can.
  6. Childbirth is gross.
  7. Pregnancy does not make every woman glow. It makes some women vomit a lot.
  8. At-home hair dying is a good way to save money, but if you want to do something drastic like from black to blonde, go to a pro. Two words: Pumpkin orange.
  9. Don’t be afraid to chop off all your hair every now and then.
  10. When intoxicated, make sure that what you believe to be a toilet, is in fact a toilet and not a mini fridge.
  11. If you accidentally hit or kick someone in the face, immediately grab them and apologize profusely while restraining their arms.
  12. Sometimes you just have to say “Fuck it” and take a break.
  13. Don’t touch the railings in sex shops.
  14. If you repeat the word “Listen” when you’ve had too much to drink, people eventually will listen to you.
  15. Make sure you take the cardboard out of your shoes before you walk down the Vegas strip in them.
  16. Find something to be nerdy about and embrace your nerdiness.
  17. Louie Armstrong was one of the best artists the music world has ever seen.
  18. Get some sleep.
  19. A little bit of chipotle peppers goes a long way.
  20. If for any reason you ever feel unsafe in a relationship, leave.
  21. Being just like your mother isn’t such a bad thing.
  22. Life will sometimes get in the way of your goals.
  23. You will fail in life.
  24. Those failures in no way define who you are and who you can become.
  25. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
  26. Stay true to who you are regardless of what people may think.
  27. Having three boys under the age of 8 may seem like a curse at times but in reality they are blessings.
  28. People are more proud of you than you believe.
  29. Although you still fight and get on each other’s nerves, your sister becomes more of a friend the older you get.
  30. Your sister will always, always be there for you. No matter what time it is, no matter how old either of you get, no matter what the reason, she will always be there for you.
Happy 30th Theresa. Thank you for all your wisdom.

Happy 30th Theresa. Thank you for all your wisdom.

The End is in Sight

Three and a half years ago, I drove to Fort Collins ready to start my college career. I was nervous, scared, sad and excited. I was sad to leave my friends, family and life that I had made for myself. I was excited to meet new people and have adventures. The night before I left I made a playlist called Fort Collins drive. It was 2 1/2 hours of songs that reflected my varying emotions. I tearfully said goodbye to my sisters and my parents followed behind me in a separate car. I cried for about half of the ride.

Today, I drove to Fort Collins ready to start the last semester of my college career. I was nervous, scared, sad and excited. I listened to the same playlist, now 2 hours longer than the original and I cried for about 10 minutes of the ride. This time, there was no one to say goodbye to me, my parents are on a trip and my sisters live elsewhere and already said goodbye a few days ago. The whole time I was home for Winter Break I knew that I would be starting my last semester but it didn’t hit me until a few days ago. I was sitting by myself in my parents’ new house when I got an email that my graduation contract was ready for pick-up… and it hit me. I was about to start my last semester of college. I have no job prospects, no motivation to take the LSAT again, no real plan for the rest of my life and no one to say goodbye to me. Not to mention tens of thousands of dollars of debt. I started to panic.

I move out in exactly four months. I move out of my first apartment. The apartment that I have 3 years of memories of. The apartment where my boyfriend first told me he loved me. The apartment that I brought my first pet home. The apartment where I raged about my last roommate, and welcomed my current roommate. The apartment where I cried about my classes, and celebrated my successes. The apartment where I was able to watch myself grow and change into the person that I am. The apartment that I have made into my home away from home.

Naturally, I start to feel a bit nostalgic every time I think about graduation. I think about receiving my acceptance letter, and attending Freshman Orientation. I think about that first drive up here and all of the others in between. I think about life in the dorms, when making and keeping friends was easy and there was always someone there to give you a hug. I think about my terrible professors and about the great ones. I think about the countless essays I have written, books I have read and all the time I spent procrastinating. I think about the late nights and the lazy mornings. The 8AM classes and the 1AM IHOP runs. I think about the fights, the arguments, disagreements and debates, the tears, the hugs, the triumphs and the failures that I have experienced these past three years. I think about all the times I have spent laughing and all the time I spent wondering, questioning and doubting. Those questions and doubts still find a way to sneak up on me from time to time. Some days, I know how to handle them. Some days, they get the best of me. I have questioned whether or not I deserve to be here. I have questioned whether this is the right path for me. I have questioned if college will be worth it in the end. I have doubted myself, my worth, my ability and my strength. But I have never doubted that I am lucky.  I have never doubted that I have been privileged to be here and to have had the experiences I had. I have never doubted that I should feel honored to get an education, to make friends, to have a roof over my head, a family that supports me, a job, and opportunities.

I still have four more months of memories, laughter, failures and triumphs, questions and doubts. I thank each and every one of my readers. I thank my family and friends, professors and classmates that have made these three and a half years so incredible. Let’s make the last four months just as memorable.

Why a Girl Needs her Daddy

A girl needs her daddy:

To teach her how to ride a bike…

And pick her up when she falls

To help her with her math homework…

Over and over again.

To teach her how to drive a car…

And be at the scene of her first accident.

To buy her a princess dress for prom…

And get a tear in his eye when she wears it.

To drop her off at her first day of college…

And rescue her when it’s too snowy for her to come home.

To calm her down when college gets too hard…

And motivate her to keep on going.

To intimidate her new boyfriend…

Even though he actually really likes him.

To drive her to her LSAT…

And tell her he’s proud no matter what and give her flowers afterwards.

To show her what a true man looks like, how a true man will treat her, and how she deserves to be loved.

To buy her a princess dress for her wedding…

And get a tear in his eye when she wears it.

To walk her down the aisle…

And give her away.

To be at the scene of her first baby’s birth…

And show her children what a good grandfather looks like.

A girl needs her daddy for every major and minor event, for every meltdown, for every celebration.

Thanks for always being there when I need you Daddy. I love you.

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The Future and Today

I am officially registered to take the LSAT. On June 6th of this year, with the results coming to me on July 7th. 

Whoa. I mean really, that’s less than six months away now. 

And yes, of course, I’m freaking out. 

Up until recently, I have continually questioned what I would do if I don’t get into law school. Only now have my thoughts changed to, “But what if I do?” And then of course I go through an entirely different list of scenarios that are probably equally scary and unnerving. But why isn’t it the other way around? Or why can’t I only think about the possibility of actually getting in? I know it’s good to have a backup plan, but it also helps to believe enough in yourself to see the plan through fully, and to imagine being there more than you imagine not being there. 

It’s much too late at night to be pondering the future that will reveal itself sooner than I imagine anyways. 

So for now, I will leave you with this: In life, it is important to cherish the little things. Sometimes when we don’t, we realize that those are the bigger, more important things. After spending the day at the museum with my boyfriend and my nephew, I am left with hope for the future. And not a desire to rush things, just a desire to live in the moment, enjoy those moments and believe in what still has yet to happen. I hope you all can do the same. 

Welcome 2014

Well here it goes, the new years day post and reflections of 2013.

If I had to sum it up, I would say 2013 was the year of opportunities. For my life, for my relationships and for growth. The opportunity to take a situation that is not ideal and learning from it and turning it into something more positive is a skill that I have worked on perfecting this year.

At the beginning of 2013, I decorated a jar and labeled it 2013 memories. Throughout the year, I wrote down when I had a good day or felt something was really special on a slip of paper and put it in the jar. Today I went through that jar. Almost half of those slips of paper had something to do with my wonderful boyfriend. Half was about my family and the others were random, good things that happened. (With the highlights apparently being seeing P!nk live and getting a new roommate as they were in there twice.) It really helped me focus on the good things that happened, I had to really think about any of the low points in the year. There were a few, but having all the positives written down helps to overpower the negatives.

After spending a wonderful night with my boyfriend for New Years Eve and having an even better year, I can’t help but think about how lucky I am. To have a family that I’m close with, parents that are still in love, sisters that love me, friends to comfort me, an education, a healthy cat for company, a roof over my head, foot in my belly, clothes on my back, money in my bank account (most times) and of course, a boyfriend that loves me and makes me feel beautiful every day.

I hope 2014 brings you everything you want and deserve.

Happy Thanksgiving

Seeing everyone post what they are thankful for on Facebook today, I spent the whole day actively thinking about what I would write about if I were to post something. So my list is too long for a simple status update. But here it is, today I am thankful for:

  • First and foremost, for my wonderful family. And the opportunity to see them today. 
  • My amazing boyfriend. While I didn’t get the chance to see him today, I am just happy that he is in my life and still puts up with me after all this time. 
  • I am thankful and lucky enough to have a great example of a successful marriage with my parents. It is getting more and more rare to see marriages that last and I am so grateful that my parents have one that has lasted. I can only hope that mine will be the same. 
  • For my health and family’s health. 
  • For the friends that have stuck by me and stay true to me no matter what. 
  • For the opportunity to go to school, to further my education. Not everyone gets that chance and the closer I get to graduation, the more I think of it as a privilege. 
  • For my cat, who is a brat but cuddly and cute and provides me with company. 
  • For food, and a roof over my head everyday. 
  • For NOT having to leave my family celebration to go to work like so many others. 
  • For all my mistakes, failures, and nay-sayers, as they have made me the stronger, better person that I am today.